adhesive

Confidence is not 
helping me.

My approach, 
cautious,
is pretty much one big
wait and see.

Navigating 
this ritual
with a vocabulary so 
small and feeble 
compared to 
it's vastness

seems

unreasonable.

To get past this,
I will offer-

Take cares.
I will see you next times.
Good byes. 
Gimme a shouts.
I'm outs.

None of that 
though, 
really 
lets a person in.

it
just lets me
off. 

It's all spin.

And this persistent practicum- 
a new job, 
the end of a party, 
death, 
a first breath,
some change in identity, 

can create loose words 
that fail 
to forge purpose,
on purpose.

Unstoppable.
Unflappable.
All laughable,
until

the doorway moment
suffocates
and keeps us 
from landing 
or departing,
only encouraging 
attachment in fractions
without fuss. 

I am alarmed 
realizing
how ill equipped I am
to answer-
How do we prepare to leave?
What was was too early?
What will be too late?
When we arrived, what did we need?

If life mimics 
an airport, 
a traveler between thresholds, 
is like stalling 
mid air

and even though
you are safe 
inside a plane,
neither landing
nor leaving
is possible. 

It ain’t flying.
It ain’t falling.
It’s scary.

And if this
moment
will be defined
by context,
I want to
stay airborne
until I 
arrive.